Ctrl + Z

Sunday, 7/29

* [Looking to my right] "Hmm, four pimped out Mazda RX8's traveling in convoy."
* [RX8's pass, looking again to my right] "That's where the other 24 Hour Fitness is."
* [Looking straight ahead] "$^#^@!"
* [Rearended last pimped out RX8]
* CTRL + Z

Saturday, 7/28

* [Turn off alarm clock at ungodly hour of 8:30.] "I have to go surfing with boss."
* [Skip breakfast, grab board, run to beach]
* [Recieve email postponing surf sesh to 9:30--yes, I took my Treo to the beach.] "Please."
* [At 10:00, boss no show, go out to new spot, Ala Moana Bowls]
* [20 minutes to paddle out, at times in 6 inches of water, reef underneath, catch no waves, 20 minutes to paddle back in to check on new apartment] "Arrgh."
* CTRL + Z

from » putting-the-blah-in-blog dept

When Caffeine Pills Just Aren't Enough

Ostensibly, I should be working on finishing up another model in Excel, but after all week of pushing hard, I am just not feeling it.

Lately, I have been working tirelessly to bunk a few myths, mostly about aforementioned girlfriend. A few n00bs out there don't know about the interweb, and the little hand that means click.

Heard at the office today--A lesson in office banter:

Boss: Wax my surfboard tonight. (I am storing and using surfboard of said boss)

Me: Ok (No intention whatsoever to do so)

Boss: That was easy.

Me: It is better than waxing your back.

Boss: Go get me a sandwich.

Me: Bugger off.

Boss: Do you want to keep your job?

Me: Does the Pope poop in the woods?

Boss: You're fired.

Me: Lawsuits remain in effect even after I leave the company.

Boss: Post-mortem?

Me: Do you remember where I said I was going to work before I came here?

Boss: Have you seen Deliverance?

Me: Yeah, John Goodman, right?

Boss: No you are thinking of The Big Lewboski, am I wrong?

Me: No.

Boss: Am I wrong?

Me: Yes.

Boss: Am I wrong?

Me: No really, yes--I was thinking of Uncle Buck.

Boss: John Candy.

Me: Fat dude.

Boss: Heart disease is a terrible thing.

Me: I would give a leg and a mouth to cure that.

Boss: Hoof and mouth disease?

Me: Destroyed Britain's cattle industry.

Boss: No more Kobe beef on the Thames.

Me: How are the Lakers doing.

Boss: No longer in Minnesota dude, proper nomenclature is the "Resevoirs"--it's the West.

Me: I love Quentin Tarantino. Resevoir Dogs?

Boss: Naw, gives me heartburn. Those and Kilbasa.

Me: I don't like hiking mountains in Africa, even if they are in Kenya.

Boss: Speaking of Africa, have you heard about the Tsunami victims there?

Me: Well, it was the only way to win the war--Oppenheimer project and all.

Boss: I have a mutual fund with that group, I think it was called Enron back then.

Me: Just went public, I heard, the new Microsoft killer.

Boss: Yeah, he was in my Aunt's neighborhood one summer. Scared everyone.

Me: Well horses underneath the car can give anyone a fright.

Boss: Yeah just like a reef popping up on a wicked left.

Me: Yeah, we should go surfing this weekend.

Boss: I'll wax my board.

from » piss-off dept

1989 Called. Bugger Off.

Those in the know, know that my site is visited by Big Brother quite often. Watch where you click.

In other news, I am seeing someone. Her name is Shalo Radjabova. Harvard undergrad & grad. Currently she works in private equity (think slash and burn corporate raiding) in NYC. She runs a blog if you want to read about her. I met her out here, but she is back in NYC. We trade emails everyday and talk when time permits.

Also I answered two important questions today:

1. What does $180 worth of cold chinese food smell like. Answer: It smells like beginning work on an 8 hour project at 5 pm at the request of the powers that be.

2. Do I dare cancel a meeting with said powers that is scheduled for tomorrow at 7 am (which is a regular person's 5 am). Answer, pardon my french, hell yes. I will let you know how the surf was.

from » uzebeki-women-are-surpisingly-attractive dept

Links Enjoyed Recently

Hilarious Lists -- A series of user submitted lists of things. My favorite? Shows I Pitched to VH1. Includes such memorable shows as: Most Things About the '80s Sucked, Hopefully You're Not Sick of Celebrities, and When Not Stoned or Onstage, Bands Often Don't Get Along.

Understanding USA -- A Flash intensive site that has some cool facts. Like the human brain is capable of 20 Million Billion calculations per second. ComputArs pwnd.

Kitten Wars! -- A la Zoolander's walk off, kittens face off to determine who is the cutest.

Sketch Blog -- So soothing...

Leveraged Sell-out -- Life inside investment banking.

Going Private -- Life inside private equity. Enjoy the saga...

Regret the Error -- Regret The Error reports on corrections, retractions, clarifications and trends regarding accuracy and honesty in the media.

Kottke -- Home of fine hypertext products (where I snitched my header gif).

Bluejake -- Sweet photo blog.

Gullible -- Did you know Ikea means simple in Swedish?

Seeking Alpha -- One page RSS feeds summarizing The Wall Street Journal and Barrons. Feed for WSJ. Explore the rest.

Life Hacker -- Geek to live, don't live to geek.

Cell Tower Locations -- Ever wonder why you can't get reception. Locate cell towers via gmaps api.

Alkemis -- Monitor police scanners, feeds to live traffic cams, news stories plotted on maps, traffic reports, bus schedules, train delays, restaraunt reviews -- the best local content anywhere, plotted on a map. Base location is NYC but you can move it to anywhere you want.

Links Friends Family

Parents, Betsy, Nate, Erika, Pete, Jacob, Hester, Hannah, Maddy, axel, Terrill, Barbara, Harry, Bonny, Bruce, Phoebe, Eliza, Hannah, Donna, Traci, Keli, Kelli, Chuck, Scott, Schellenberg

Tom, nevecenter, Porter Lane, You See This, Jenni, Jenni India, Feed, Photo, Steph, Monique, LLCoolJ, Roomie 2.0, Hans, Wendy, Gabe, Joann, Mia, Zach, Kent, Lindsey, Dan, Eric, Courtney, Tyler, Mike, Liam, Renee, Kat, Comptron, Keith, Rewriteable, Leslie, Dave, Chelsea, Miriam, Erin, Jamie, James, Rhian, Jacksons, Puddle Stompers

Where I Have Been Lurking Lately
Alison, Megan, Megan, Dane-ish, Dane-ish, Kenny, Jill, Broek, Super Advanced, Greg, Random Oil Guy in Siberia, Dau

Our Lives Passed Away Like As It Were Unto Us A Dream

With an underwater camera I will be able to capture everything nothing I see while snorkeling. The colors will be vibrant piss-poor. The glistening dull sun will gleam fart through the water. The sky will be blue gray, the water clear gray, the sea green gray.

The only salvation is to call it crap art and be done with it.

Snorkeling on the North Shore

Saturday, Kim, Kelly, Morgana and I went up to the North Shore to go snorkeling with the giant sea turtles. We saw quite a number up close, some on the sand, some in shallow water. I have a few underwater pics that I will get developed later.

Much mahalo and much aloha for reading the blog.

This one is for you Hans. Kelly don't yell at me.

A bit more dramatic...

Comes from years of practice...this skill.

We Are FREE!!!

Karl, Kelly, Kim, & Wade--one of these things is not like the other one. Fourth of July Hawaiian style--some bbq and surf a bit. Luckily Kelly & Kim's backyard (pictured in the background) is perfect for a few rides. My feet would warn you, however, to watch out for the reef--I might be hobbling tomorrow at work. Most of the time I was afraid to fall because it looked like the reef was so shallow.

In other news, to correct the corpulent nature of man on left in photo, I have hired a personal trainer. Something has to change, because at this rate in five years I will be 290 lbs.

A moment of repose with Bingham. Posted by Picasa