Like a medic stuffing fistfuls of gauze into a hemoraghing wound, I have tried and tried to limit my apparently exponential weight gain. Last night my trainer worked me so hard I ended the night puking my guts out. All in vain--I have just topped two bills, according to certain biased scientific instruments. This morning I celebrated with a brownie.from » fatty dept
ouch - it's time for the pudding diet
ReplyDeleteor better yet, vegetable soup.
ReplyDeletewelcome to the post-college weight gain club, though i don't think I've quite reached two bills yet.
ReplyDeleteHowever, by far the most interesting part of your post was the phrase "my personal trainer." My imagination ran wild with images of some dude oiling you up, or some dude telling you to "feel the pain," or some Candi with an "i" telling you to just "give me 5 more."
Who is m.keith? But yes, I generally prefer working out with a rotund belly greased by canola oil...
ReplyDeleteI am about 3 pounds away from 2 bills--but I am coming the other way.
ReplyDeleteAh, the brownie diet. Been there. I am currently on the Five Small Meals [of chocolate] A Day Diet. Can't say it's working, but boy is it delicious.
ReplyDeleteGotta try the Turbo Jam! Jake still makes fun of me but hey, I am on day 64 and still going strong.
ReplyDeleteyes, Karl - turbo jam - but it doesn't matter how much you exercise if you eat too much.
ReplyDeletem. keith = eliza's matt
K-
ReplyDeleteLet's discuss over e-mail.
Gotta look over your eating and exercise habits. And if it comes down to it, perhaps an adrenal/thyroid test or two. . .
-M
Matt likes to confuse people with his secret "GA" identity.
ReplyDeleteThat would be "general authority," not "gay without the y."
Umm...congratulations on a career record with the 2 bills. May I suggest the pumpkin bread diet. If you use whole-wheat flour it makes it all fibrous and good for you. True story. Make sure you don't skimp on the sugar.