Themes

A well-formulated and powerfully executed thesis is a sine qua non of a successful blog. Despite my munificent history of penning courageous and acerbic blog posts, Loyal Reader Kent has levied a charge against me of "writing about nothing." I must respectfully disagree with the good gentleman from Garbage Grove. Though an articulation of my iconoclastic remarks heretofore blogged antedates the formal collection of my blogging themes, that shall in no regard diminish the efficacy of my ex post facto imposition of a series of themes on my blog. Said themes of my blog:

1. Me
2. Stuff I think about
3. Stuff I would like others to think I am thinking about
4. Whatever I want

Clearly, not only is this blog a dynamic and informative station on the series of tubes that is the world wide web, but it is also a community affair covering a broad range of topics. Can I help it if I am the Kevin Bacon of my own life--that everything in my life somehow connects back to me? I blog what I know and I know me. Can't help it. If you thought as much about myself as I do (both qualitatively and quantitatively), I am sure you would blog about me as well.

Capturing my stoic media consumption, spartan consumerism, and hostile clichedness is no mean task. Likewise, the depth, breadth, and genius (not to mention correctness) of my social views and political agenda is not easily articulated nor understood. I believe I single-handedly placed the phrase "You just blew my mind" in the modern lexicon. For you beginners out there (or for you who have incredibly boring blogs, you know who you are), let me share a few methods I use to develop the themes mentioned above.

1. Plagiarize. If you think something is funny (and if you are me), then others will as well. They will think even more of you, if they are convinced you originally conceived that humorous item.

2. Don't let not having anything to say stop you from posting.

3. Accuse anyone of anything. This works well in person as well. For example, I recently accused an acquaintance of being a narrow-minded psuedo-intellectual carbon copy of someone with real opinions. Her crime? Well, she cited Atlas Shrugged as the best book ever. (Full disclosure, I have never read Atlas Shrugged. Lesson: don't let a lack of knowledge stop you.)

4. Know your audience. Well, know how to belittle your audience. Have a handful of trite and transparent conventions that make you seems smarter, cooler, and more handsome than you really are. For example, I rarely study for the GRE, but I have the book open now to copy words that I never really use into this post.

5. Sprinkle pictures throughout your post. This is really a part of under-estimating your audience--knowing that few, if any, read what you write and are instead looking for pictures.

6. Make sure your post passes the laugh test. For example, I have already laughed to myself many times in writing this post. That's how I know it is quality.

I have already grown tired of this post. This was all meant to introduce and explain two key events in my life. I watched Ghost Rider over the weekend. No. Words. To. Describe. Worth the $7 to experience some of the most hackneyed writing and deleterious (had to turn the page to get that one) acting I have seen in the past 12 months. Motorcycles and clingy shirts--what more is there in a movie? 8 thumbs up.















Also, the OC has come to an end. Sadly. I stuck through the series, even in the bad times. I found myself (self-effacing admission of guilt coming) actually checking the message boards on Fox to see what others 16-year old girls felt about the ending.

Spoiler Alert: The ending involves Bounty paper towels.

(Continuing admission of guilt) I actually enjoyed the final episode--knowing that these people who I have shared so much of my life with, will turn out to be ok. Also, one of the final parting shots shows Ryan contemplating his life at the now-destroyed Cohen house. For a brief moment in the driveway, Marissa--silhouetted against a fading sunset, brushing her hair from her eyes-- flashes into his memory. A truly moving moment. I googled for a similar picture. I stopped when I found bounty. I don't think it needs an explanation.