Men! Hrmph!

I didn't feel like a particularly oppressed man, until I read this article by Michael Chrichton.  Now I am not so sure. Some quotes:

There is no question that men feel under attack, and psychologically beaten down. All sorts of horrible qualities are attributed to us: we are unemotional, we are brutal, we are violent, we are uncaring. ... We've been hearing this for more than twenty years. There are young men who have grown up in America who have heard nothing else.

Refuting the hard truths:

Are men inarticulate? Sure, sometimes. Expressing deep feelings is difficult, especially if you've been told—as most males have, even in our postmodern age—that to express your feelings is unmanly.

But I don't really see women able to express their feelings any better. Women like to talk about feelings, as men like to talk about football and computers. But when it comes to talking about your own feelings, I find that women suddenly stumble. In the workplace, around the dinner table, on that big date, I am not aware that a woman has an easier time expressing the hard truths: that her feelings are hurt, or something made her feel bad, or that she feels weak or sad or inadequate.

Fear of commitment:

Men won't make commitments? Let's face it: commitment is hard for anybody. ... One of the great ironies today is that women who aren't ready to settle down are doing a good thing: pursuing their careers and fulfilling themselves. Whereas men in the same situation are doing a bad thing: they’re unwilling to commit.

Men are individuals too:

It may be true that most men differ from most woman in some statistical way. But we don't have relationships with "most men" or "most women." We have relationships with individual men and women. And when we apply the group stereotype to an individual, we are guilty of prejudice.

It's no longer acceptable to talk about shiftless blacks, mincing gays, or drunken Irishmen. Why is it still acceptable to talk about intimacy-avoiding men?

Women, we may tolerate you out of necessity:

But if you don't want to live alone, you'll have to put up with another person. And that other person just isn't going to be the person you want them to be.

At least, not all the time.

That's just the way it is.

So how can it be anybody's fault?

Women--controlling, scapegoating, revengeful, tragic:

Fault-finding through male stereotyping has some unpleasant aspects that should be mentioned. The first is this: if you can adopt the position that you're inherently skilled in some aspect of relationship—say, intimacy—and the other person is inherently deficient, then you have an unbeatable position of power. The other person is always on the defensive. He will always have his hands full trying to prove he isn't the way you say he is.

This is a control dynamic.

The second is this: if both men and women have trouble expressing real intimacy, then both men and women experience tension in this area. A convenient way to get rid of that tension is to blame it on the other person. Everything would be fine if he'd just talk, or listen, or make a commitment.

This is a scapegoat dynamic.

The third is this: if you treat another person as a stereotype, he will feel it, and sooner or later he will pay you back.

This is a revenge dynamic.

The fourth is this: if you treat another person as a stereotype, you will miss a great deal of delight and richness in your association with him.

This is a tragic dynamic.

By the way, Chrichton knows his audience.  Did I mention this was originally published in Playboy magazine?  Way to stir things up.  Speaking of things that anger women, Who Stole Feminism is also on my list of things to read.