New Lows

This morning I was in my underwear on my hands and knees scrubbing out dried whip cream footprints out of my carpet.  Apparently I got up in the middle of the night and had a piece of pie.  Then I got up a second time, stepped on the plate, and left little whip cream footprints out to the bathroom.

I think I am going to start doing what the Memento guy did--tattoo any instructions to myself on my chest.  One his tattoos, which flashes only a moment, says "don't trust your weaknesses."  True enough.  I need to have the phrase "go back to bed" on my chest.  But somehow that doesn't have the same ring as "find him and kill him."  The film seems sort of 50/50 for usable tattooed advice.  But everything turns out well for him in the end.  Right?