Stickk It Up Yours

Contrary to what the title would lead you to believe, I just donated $1,000 to the George H. W. Bush Presidential Library. Sort of.

Like I talked about a little while ago, I decided to get serious about a few simple goals. I have nothing but a lazy summer in front of me--work is brain-dead and soon to be finished. Moreover, I went through a busy season of races and forgot to sign up for more.

In the last two weeks, I have had an In-N-Out double-double animal style, fries, and a chocolate shake 8 times.

So I just set three goals:
1. Up by 6 AM for the month of May ($250)
2. Read & pray daily for the month of May ($250)
3. Down to 160 lbs & a 1:30 half-marathon by September 1. ($500)


Stickk.com is holding the cash for me and will return it (I hope) if I meet my goals. Now it is just me and George--mano a mano (throw in a Jon Stewart "heh, heh")--dueling it out for $1,000. Who will win--the Idiot in Chief or the President? (See what I did there--self-deprecation, I hear people think it's endearing.)

The idea is losing money sucks about twice the inverse of making money (behavioral economists research these things). Losing it to this guy is supposed to motivate me even more--the classic victory through hatred and success through insecurity. I am not sure if that bit of double-speak articulates my own MO or US foreign policy.

Oceanside Half-Ironman

So I am a little late posting this and I can't remember everything that went on. All I know is that I went pretty slow, I got smoked on the bike, and it was very, very long. Here are my final stats:

Swim Place: 1741 / 1965
Bike Place: 1722 / 1965
Run Place: 1234 / 1965 (I suck the least at running)
Overall Place: 1640 / 1965
Division Overall Place: 140 / 151

Swim Time: 48:03 (2:25 per 100 meters)
Transition 1: 1:59 (I think this is a timing mistake)
Bike Time: 3:43:32 (15 miles per hour)
Transition 2: 9:06
Run Time: 2:10:38 (9:59 per mile)
Total Time: 7:03:33

The winning time was a bit ridiculous (Andy Potts), these are Olympic class folks.

Swim Time: 22:13 (1:07 per 100 meters)
Transition 1: 1:58
Bike Time: 2:18:46 (24.2 miles per hour)
Transition 2: 1:20
Run Time: 1:14:07 (5:40 per mile--after all that!)
Total Time: 3:58:22 (and he beat #2 by only 3 seconds)

Everything you need to do a triathlon.



Start of race.

Still looking a bit creepy sleepy.



Map of 1.2 mi swim.

Picture of 1.2 mi swim. start on far right, swim left out to mid way where it opens up, get nailed by 3 foot surf, and swim back to the buildings at the edge of the photo.



I took off running right out of the water. Unfortunately, I couldn't feel my feet after 50 minutes in ~55 degree water. I ran over pavement for 300 yards and by the time I got to the transition area, my feet were bleeding everywhere.

I stopped when I got to the transition area to document it for the fans.



Map of the bike.

Altitude.

Pic of the bike. Basically head north way out of the picture, go up into the mountains past the second ridge and then cruise back through the valley you see one ridge over.



There was also some of these--no good. Although, the one point on the bike where I made up time was the steep uphills--strong quads, but no cardio here.



Running my bike out of the transition area and then my first few turns. After this it was 3 1/2 hours of just slogging it out. I think I drank my two bottles (32 oz) and 3 other 32 oz bottles and was still thirsty. I ate a whole packet of beef jerky, a bag of mangoes I brought back from the Philippines, and 4 or 5 gels. I just couldn't get enough fuel in there.

Transition again. I am not looking my best--tired, bored, and out of focus.



Map of run.

Altitude. I couldn't exactly put my quad-advantage in play here.

Pic of run. The run was very well supported--aid stations every mile with pretzels, coke, gatorade, water, gels, sponges, ice, juice, bananas, etc. The only problem is that running a half marathon in a loop is a bit depressing.



I think this is my first lap. (And yes, to the left, though not always. You can't change out of bike shorts folks.) Finishing up (I started ~12 min after the clock). Walking it out.

Picking up my junk after getting my spiffy new shirt and a free pizza lunch (the herd you directly into a tent post-race and make you eat a ton).

Kim & Wendy in Japan

So, on my whirlwind Asia trip following Chinorz & Manila, I swung by Japan to see college friends Kim (blog-less Hawaii Kim) and Wendy (English teacher in Japan Wendy). I only spent one real day with them--I took the bullet train down from Tokyo to Kyoto and stayed in a hostel with them. I forget what all the sites are called, maybe Wendy can comment in the, well, comments.


Umm, large temple complex...

The Golden Pavilion (that burned down a long time ago and was rebuilt, or something). We each gave our camera to a different person to take pictures at the same time, with predictable results.



Toji Castle, I think.



Umm, giant moat?



Sign says no smoking.



Perfunctory pear blossom.



Ambling along Kyoto's back streets at dusk.

Trying to get a group shot in some hall of Japanese sign-age things.

Large Japanese sign-age thing.



Perfunctory automatic bum washer at the airport. Love it.



Well, I guess that was pretty lame.

Moab Half-Marathon

I am sure no one cares by now, but I must finish my belated postings. You can get the gist of the trip here, here, here, here, here, or here (scroll down).

Here I am during the race. For some reason, they (the rip-off artists at Brightroom Event Photography--death to Brightroom! $40 for pics!? Hence the small grainy ones.) didn't catch me at the finish line. Stats: here. 1:41 total time, 7:46 pace. 38 of 167 in my age group, but 339 out of 2910 overall. Lots of room for improvement next year.

Then here Betsy and I are finishing things up--a bit more of a struggle this year.


Some post race milling about.





Likely a mistake, after the race on Saturday we went to Delicate Arch to look around. Everyone was feeling like the 1 mile+ hike in was maybe a bad idea.

In case you think I am self-centered, more group shots are here and Jake & Amy didn't post most of theirs. Betsy also did a photoshop number on one of these shots. I would probably make it the new header of my blog if it didn't feature me so prominently. (Why is this bothering me now, it hasn't for the past 27 years?)

Tabulous

I am considering starting a Tab addiction. I used to see it at my grandpa's house. I just saw it at the store. And the New Yorker wrote an article about it. I strive to be elitist even though I usually only read the cartoons. (Btw, I remember reading the New Yorker in sixth grade in the library at the American Embassy School in New Delhi and thinking that the images of concerts and what not that the New Yorker puts in its goings on about town section were un-funny cartoons.)

This Is So Bloggerable!

That sentiment, my friends, was what I was thinking as my head was taped to an evil looking dentist's chair with two lasers pointing at my eyeball which was held open with a pair of forceps while a guy in sketchy part of Koreantown said "Don't worry about this a bit."

I am pretty good about medical procedures in general--I look at the needles while I get my blood drawn, I got some fillings with no novocaine, I cough like a champion when a doctor is investigating the ins and outs of my GI and reproductive tracts, etc. Lasik, however, freaked me out a bit. It was the first time I read the disclosure form, which promised that everything including complete loss of vision could occur. I am never doing that again--I will sign anything you give me without reading.

After I was restrained and my eyes propped open with toothpicks, like some crazy scene from Saw IV, Mr. Lee said: "Now you will feel a bit of suction." This "suction" on my eyeball was accompanied by the sound of dentist drill--which is the high-speed blade that cut a flap open on my cornea. Oh yeah, "suction" also included pressure that backed my eyeball into my skull and made my vision black out completely for 5-10 seconds.

Then the doctor flicks the flap back, your vision goes completely bonkers (apparently you *really* need your cornea). and zaps you with a red laser while his assistant counts to 110 by tens for some reason. (I seriously hope that is not how they timed it.) You know that smell of hair burning? That is the same smell that accompanies your retina being burned by lasers. Flip the flap back over. Done-skis.

Repeat on the other side. Beg for an extra dose of valium (which I did, thanks Megan--who I didn't know read my blog, btw) and have a friend drive you home while crying uncontrollably (for once, "my eyes are just watering" is a valid excuse). Come in, blog about it, take two sleeping pills (should I mix these with valium?), tape on my protective masks, and zonk out until morning.

Lol Quotes

From the latest episode of 30 Rock:

Liz: I'm feeling pretty drunk.
Jack: Well, it's business drunk. It's like rich drunk, either way it's legal to drive.

And (speaking of choosing a successor for NBC East Coast TV & Microwave division):

Don: You've got to choose someone you trust.
Jack: Well I guess that rules out the Federal Reserve.

'Tis the Season to Be Cutting

I know I have some stuff to still blog--Moab, Half Ironman, and Japan. I have to do a bunch of pic editing for that, so I am going to put it off again.

What's going on? Well, just got back from soccer, which I have taken up recently. I still have my high school cleats even! I also have a giant bruise on my shin because my high school shin guards are nowhere to be found.

Last year I started a tradition of getting surgery each spring, so I decided to go for it this year. I put some pre-tax money in my health savings account which I am going to spend on Lasik. (Cool NYTimes feature on how it works here.) The doctor said I had big pupils (I took it as a compliment) which can sometimes complicate the procedure, but I was like "Yo, how important is my sight?--let's overclock my eyeballs." and he was like "Sure, I will take your money." Anyway, I negotiated him down from $1,600 to $1,300--which in pre-tax dollars is under $1,000. I would have spent $250 on new glasses and contacts anyway, so an extra $750 to continue my transformation into a cyborg is worth it. (That's the sort of math I do at work--mismatching pre- and post-tax dollars to come up with a figure that seems good.)

I asked my doctor guy about the Waveform Lasik procedure (which is like $5,000 and not what I am getting). He has the machines and could do it if I wanted to but he made a compelling argument not to. It's big claim to fame is accuracy (down to 1/1000 of point). He told me a little about eyeballs.

First, he said your prescription can easily vary +- 0.25 within a day.

Second, we never even notice the variation. To prove it, he put the fancy glasses on me and flipped me 0.25 either direction--the proverbial is this better or this. The point is that your body adapts and adjusts. So to charge $5,000 for really accurate software that measures your eyes down to, for example, -4.2507 is pretty stupid if -4.0 and -4.5 are somewhat indistinguishable. Your eyeball, he says, is a lot like jello--pretty amorphous.

Third, the handbook that comes with the machine says that he could potentially adjust the software's result by +-10%. Again, accuracy down to 4.2501 is useless if a guy can adjust it to 4.6501.

Finally, he says that in about 20% of his cases he has to do minor touch-ups a few weeks later. Why? Microscopic scar tissue affects your vision.

Anyway, I plan to be doped on valium Saturday night. Everyone's welcome--BYOV (bring your own valium). Recovery time--4 hours!

Also, Columbia rejection came in the mail today, I am going to Stanford in the fall. KTHXBYE.