I Think I Got High Last Night

I am responsible. Really. I try to get in bed at a reasonable hour. Sometimes when my schedule is skewampas, I take an Ambien to help me sleep and reset. Last night I accidentally took two.

As I was talking to my roommate Bob about our Saturday plans I said: "Hey Bob, I see two of you." As he related it to me this morning, I then hit my head against the door frame until he made me stop. My eyes were coming in and out of focus rapidly. He asked if I had taken anything. I told him the doctor prescribed 8 sleeping pills. Apparently that didn't phase him, because he just put me to bed.

After he shut the door, I popped out of bed and checked facebook. I spammed about 100 people with gushing wall posts and awkward quizzes. I guess deep down I wondered if other people thought my Spanish teacher from high school, several engaged friends, or my cousins were good kissers. I also posted a poll on my friend Katie's wall asking how many people thought she was religious. Fine, I guess, except that she isn't quite so into church these days. One acquaintance from high school asked me if I was on ecstasy. I am not that exotic.

This morning as I erased my facebook tracks I discovered some real winners. On Kat's wall I said: "I like you. I like your picture. Your picture is cute as a button." Seems strange in its see-Spot-run simplicity but not completely out of character. On Camile's wall I said: "I like you. I don't know what your goal is this year, but I hope you get it. You are a real winner." I was overcome by love and truth and vulgarity. I said as much on Caitlin's wall: "You girls are beautiful and righteous and obedient bitches." But what really confirmed that I got high last night was what I wrote on Broek's wall: "Your picture reminds me of my last novel...'the young maiden, hands behind her head, was arrested for unlicensed folk and emo sensibilities, though after being aroused out of her stupor, she came willingly to...'" Not sure where I was going with that, but as far as first lines of novels go, I think I am really on to something.