中國課

這個學期開始的時候我生病了。 那時候我應該要輕鬆一點。 可是我一直想我能做得到。 中文課的作業我大概做不到。 幾天前， 我就決定了──不要繼續上課。 現在我只上兩堂課程。 最糟糕的就是財務方面的後果── 下個學期的學費比較大。 另外， 我每幾天寫一個中文的小作文過得很差。

Your Face Is Ugly

Apparently people have no qualms about telling me what they think about my mustache. To wit:

Someone else: "Hey, sweet 'stache. You look like a child molester."

Me: "Hahahahahahhahahahhahaha." (Force a smile.) "Yeah man..." (Nervous laughter.) "For sure...." (I have killed people for less....)

Halloween costume: Beastie Boy or Reno 911.

Sports and Dogs

Two things that I am enjoying (at the same time, btw):

1. David Foster Wallace on sports:

It's hard not to notice the way this air of robotic banality suffuses not only the sports-memoir genre but also the media rituals in which a top athlete is asked to describe the contest or meaning of his techne.

"Kenny, how did it feel to make that sensational game-winning shoestring catch in the end zone with absolutely no I mean zero time remaining on the clock?"

"Well, Frank, I was just real pleased. I was real happy and also pleased. We've all worked hard and come a long way as a team, and it's always a good feeling to be able to contribute."

...

This stuff is stupefying, and yet it also seems to be inevitable, maybe even necessary. The baritones in network blazers keep coming up after games demanding of physical geniuses these recombinant strings of dead cliches, strings that after a while start to sound like a strange kind of lullaby, and which of course no network would solicit and broadcast again and again if there weren't a large and serious audience out here who find the banalities right and good.

All right, so the obvious point: Great athletes usually turn out to be stunningly inarticulate about just those qualities and experience that constitute their fascination.

2. Puppy attacking a weed:

Held by the Taliban

My friend just pointed out this five-part series on a reporter held by the Taliban in the tribal areas for seven months. I haven't read it yet, but I am looking forward to it--I really want to sit down enjoy it. (Enjoy?) Part 1 here (you can navigate to the rest, and they have some video).

Frontline also has an hour-long feature on Afghanistan I am going to watch tonight.

Speaking of Islam, I came across some random pig information today. Hippie design student traced the end-product of a single pig, Pig 05049. Products include: pork chops, bacon, ham, pork tenderloin, chewing gum, bone china, fortify yogurt, doggy treats, train brakes, coating for aluminum molds, components of ammunition, automobile paint, soap, cigarettes, preservative for bread, beer, and cardiac valves--185 separate products in all. I always wonder if vegans ever care about this sort of stuff.

In other meat-news, ever hear of the Visible Human Project? You freeze a cadaver and then slice it up into 1/8 inch (and smaller) cross sections. Some big pics here. This longitudinal shot is my favorite.

Finally, Bjarke Ingels not only has a sweet name, but a sweet, sweet accent. He is also an architect. Interesting TED talk.

Sweetest Thing I Could Find

This morning I woke up with raspberry stains on my undershirt, on my bed cover, on the light switch, on the carpet, on the clean dishes, and all over the counter.

Somewhere in the back of my mind I knew that I got up in the middle of the night with the munchies. But I was a bit fuzzy about the details. I just can't sleep anymore. Very frustrating. Blue pills are really the only thing keeping me sane. Sort of. There's some collateral damage.

The evidence is pretty damning. There are three table knives in the sink. My loaf of bread is gone. The jar of jam is empty next to the fridge. Apparently, I came downstairs three times. Each time, I remember thinking: "I really like jam, I am going to put A LOT on this sandwich."

So apparently I was stumbling around last night, smearing jam on walls. Also, I ate almost a whole jar of jam in one night.

Having A Mustache Is Like the Color Blue

Hat tip to Jenni for sending me the link.

Mustache

Some favorite things to do and say with my new mustache:

- Sharpen knives (I really did buy a new whetstone).
- Ask women at church and on campus "Hey, how old are you?"
- Hang out at parks.
- Ask people if they want to see my van.  It has carpet.

PS The image I have of myself in my head still hasn't changed. When I stumble into the bathroom in the morning, I am first shocked, somewhat repulsed, and then amused by this facial hair thing. All women hate it (I had someone at church tell me directly it looks horrible) but all men think it's entertaining.

Update: Ben thinks I look like Clark Gable (that's what I am taking his comment to mean).  I am all over mastering this expression.

Vogue

So I have a guilty pleasure that I guess I will share with the interwebs--and why not, screw what other people think. I am a straight man with a subscription to Vogue. I blame Bonny--all she ever had lying around her house were fashion magazines and Williams Sonoma catalogs. Once you get past the glitz--though, to be honest, I don't really mind it, Vogue is a fine publication. Where else can you read articles like "I Will Survive" by Hamish Bowles.

The premise of the article is that of a very gay City Slickers. Fabulously gay NYC fashion writer goes to wilderness survival school and writes about his experience. The article is everything you would expect but is also well written. He's no David Foster Wallace, but he is clever and gifted. Plus, just picture him in the middle of a southern Utah desert thinking the following:

At base camp we sorted out the clothing and accoutrements he had brought with us. Yes to my Nantucket patchwork madras button-down shirt. Yes to the appropriately khaki Juicy Couture cashmere sweater. Yes (thrillingly) to the Beatonesque straw hat I'd found in a delightfully antiquated millinery shop in Old San Juan.

The man brings a cashmere sweater--Juicy, no less--to a situation where he knows he will be stuck in the desert for weeks with only what he has on his back. And what is he thrilled about and delighted by? An effing straw hat! I will read this magazine forever.

I Will Survive - Hamish Bowles

Obssessive

My latest iteration of a guilt-laden system to become more productive ("better") includes setting recurring appointments on my calendar to email me reminders to do things that are important, but which I often forget.

It's 2 AM and my left over reminders include "do something creative today," "pray," and "write something in Chinese." Well, three birds with one stone. Blogs are as creative as I get today. But I have been into Nice Fox by Rosebuds recently.

I did have a sweet idea for a website--make a list of all the things that 1 person with $10,000 could do to solve problems that are not being adequately addressed by public government or private enterprise.  Maybe it's not such a great thought.  But I would like ideas--I am searching for jobs again and loathe the idea of (re)selling my soul for a big paycheck to buy stuff to be happy.  Maybe this time I will cut out the middle man.

阿門。

My Experience Exactly

What is the most important information I should know about Ambien CR?

After taking AMBIEN CR, you may get up out of bed while not being fully awake and do an activity that you do not know you are doing. The next morning, you may not remember that you did anything during the night. You have a higher chance for doing these activities if you drink alcohol or take other medicines that make you sleepy with AMBIEN CR. Reported activities include: driving a car (“sleep-driving”), making and eating food, talking on the phone, having sex, and sleep-walking.

I should also add facebooking. I have a lot to look forward to, I guess.

Spies

So I have a professor here who is a former spook. She said her job in the 60s and 70s was to analyze photographs coming out of China. The US had so little intelligence on what was happening in there that they could only infer changes in leadership based on the order that people stood in during official photographs. You laugh, but it was surprisingly accurate. Many pictures in historical archives have been doctored to exclude people (lined up all in a row like this) that fell from grace. So you have pics like this, with giant gaps where they erased every trace of a "rogue" leader. Just thought it was funny. More pics here.

PS: Also funny thing I picked up on the web (but I can't find it right now) is that in-text links have a lower click-through rate than saying something like "link here." What has an even higher click-through rate? If you tell someone to do something, they usually will. Apparently, "blah blah blah, you should click here" is the most effective.

Pride

Family competition to read the Book of Mormon by the end of the year here. Join if you want, just don't mess up my columns in the spreadsheet. Feel free to trash talk--"your mom reads the scriptures so slow she couldn't even understand how the Book of Mormon buttresses a Weltanschauungian defense of the unity of the Book of Isaiah, rather than the now commonly accepted radical view of a deteuro- and trito-Isaiah." Aaahhhh, snaaaaaaappppp! Also, we are siblings.

中文練習

我這三個禮拜以來生病了。 我隨時都很類。  作功課也做不到。  每天睡十二個小時交。  但是這一切根這個照片有甚麼樣的關係呢？ 其實一點關係都沒有。  可是呢， 一至貓玩電動很好笑。  上個星期四，我定下了一個目標－－就是每一幾天我要練習寫漢字。  我本來要來斯旦福的原因就是把中文學好。  但是最近我要努力的找工作， 我比較沒時間花在學中文。 很可惜。 我知道應該沒有任何一個人會看的動我寫的事情。  但是呢， 我無所謂－－就要認真學習就好了。  好吧， 再見。

Avalanche Skier Helmut Cam

Gothstar

I have been getting into Gothstar by Picture Plane. The rest of their music is pretty forgettable --I am skeptical of any genre that includes the labels goth and house and dub. Their myspace page is an unusable mess that is done in poor taste, even for loser emo hipsters. The song itself is just a riff on about 4-5 seconds of Seven Wonders by Fleetwood Mac, another band I wish would just disappear. There video doesn't appear related in anyway to the song. But put it all together and it is weird and so I like it.

Race Time

Fall is in the air. Time to plan the next season worth of races. I thought I would put my ideas out here, see if I can't get anyone to join up.

Sat., Nov. 7: Stinson Beach 25k and 7 mile race (NorCal) I am signed up for the 25k. Friend in town.

Feb. 27, 2010: Catalina Half-marathon? I don't know if I can sneak away for this, but maybe. This was the first race where I beat Harry. Proud moment for me.

March 20, 2010: Moab Half-marathon. Is this dead? Are we ever doing this again? Looks like we all hate this.

Spring Break, 2010: Run Mauna Loa summit trail over to Volcano National Park. 23 miles. (Big Island, HI) The big island is my favorite, not an organized event, just me (and my friend Kim) so far, but everyone needs a Hawaii vacation. Come with us.

June 5, 2010: Shadow of the Giants 50k and 20k. (By Yosemite) I am committed to the 50k, will sign up soon.

If I injure myself or something, then I am doing Fontana Days: Worlds Fastest Half Marathon on Jun 5.

Jun 18, 19, 20: Maybe Ragnar Wasatch Back? Phoenix was too hard, LA wasn't well organized. I think they have over-expanded, but maybe the original would be ok? It's so expensive.

September, 2010: I have an itch to re-do the Grand Canyon Rim to Rim. Anyone? Anyone?

I am also open to join other teams / races / triathlons (sprint, preferably, I got burned out on the longer stuff). Just let me know, I will race. Also thinking of adding some other PCTR. Maybe leave ideas in the comments?

Santa Cruz

So I was going to post pictures from a weekend in Santa Cruz (pics I didn't take) but the only one I could find was of Katherine and Jenni hanging all over me where I look like I have a double chin and sad, baggy eyes. Apparently I didn't catch the eye of the photographer like Jenni did--there are no cool pics of me texting the morning away effortlessly.

I Wish I Could Just Sleep...

... but, once again, it's 4 AM and I have tried to go to bed three separate times tonight.  I lay in bed trying to make myself sleep, but after a half-hour, I usually give up and try to do something for a bit, then try it again a little while later.  I did homework during the first break.  I applied to Goldman Sachs after my second failed attempt.  I blogged after the third.  Hopefully the fourth time is the charm.

I have nothing to write about.  I will just share some of the photos I collect.  I don't have kids--this is as close as I get to posting pics that almost no one cares about.  Although in my case, I doubt if even close friends and family care about these.

I like the violence of this one--nasty, bloody, terrible.

Everything is melty.

I am going to work on this version of cool.

A smoking chimp is always funny--especially with that expression.

The Japanese manga fan in me likes this image.

I love the idea of pure desolation.

I think this is a good portrait.  Also, I need more tats.

Look, an artist penguin drawing a self-portrait of himself as an artist penguin--so meta!

The Mexicans have some scary stuff.  This shot also reminds me of Broek.

Besame mucho por favor.

Ha!  Lolcatz are always good.

People told me I looked like him as a kid.  As an adult, I feel like him sometimes.

Yeah, true enough.

Come on!  A banana with a top hat!

There was some pain involved in getting this shot.

 I believe this is true.

Will You Be There

I don't even own this song, but I woke up this morning singing it.

Men! Hrmph!

I didn't feel like a particularly oppressed man, until I read this article by Michael Chrichton.  Now I am not so sure. Some quotes:

There is no question that men feel under attack, and psychologically beaten down. All sorts of horrible qualities are attributed to us: we are unemotional, we are brutal, we are violent, we are uncaring. ... We've been hearing this for more than twenty years. There are young men who have grown up in America who have heard nothing else.

Refuting the hard truths:

Are men inarticulate? Sure, sometimes. Expressing deep feelings is difficult, especially if you've been told—as most males have, even in our postmodern age—that to express your feelings is unmanly.

But I don't really see women able to express their feelings any better. Women like to talk about feelings, as men like to talk about football and computers. But when it comes to talking about your own feelings, I find that women suddenly stumble. In the workplace, around the dinner table, on that big date, I am not aware that a woman has an easier time expressing the hard truths: that her feelings are hurt, or something made her feel bad, or that she feels weak or sad or inadequate.

Fear of commitment:

Men won't make commitments? Let's face it: commitment is hard for anybody. ... One of the great ironies today is that women who aren't ready to settle down are doing a good thing: pursuing their careers and fulfilling themselves. Whereas men in the same situation are doing a bad thing: they’re unwilling to commit.

Men are individuals too:

It may be true that most men differ from most woman in some statistical way. But we don't have relationships with "most men" or "most women." We have relationships with individual men and women. And when we apply the group stereotype to an individual, we are guilty of prejudice.

It's no longer acceptable to talk about shiftless blacks, mincing gays, or drunken Irishmen. Why is it still acceptable to talk about intimacy-avoiding men?

Women, we may tolerate you out of necessity:

But if you don't want to live alone, you'll have to put up with another person. And that other person just isn't going to be the person you want them to be.

At least, not all the time.

That's just the way it is.

So how can it be anybody's fault?

Women--controlling, scapegoating, revengeful, tragic:

Fault-finding through male stereotyping has some unpleasant aspects that should be mentioned. The first is this: if you can adopt the position that you're inherently skilled in some aspect of relationship—say, intimacy—and the other person is inherently deficient, then you have an unbeatable position of power. The other person is always on the defensive. He will always have his hands full trying to prove he isn't the way you say he is.

This is a control dynamic.

The second is this: if both men and women have trouble expressing real intimacy, then both men and women experience tension in this area. A convenient way to get rid of that tension is to blame it on the other person. Everything would be fine if he'd just talk, or listen, or make a commitment.

This is a scapegoat dynamic.

The third is this: if you treat another person as a stereotype, he will feel it, and sooner or later he will pay you back.

This is a revenge dynamic.

The fourth is this: if you treat another person as a stereotype, you will miss a great deal of delight and richness in your association with him.

This is a tragic dynamic.

By the way, Chrichton knows his audience.  Did I mention this was originally published in Playboy magazine?  Way to stir things up.  Speaking of things that anger women, Who Stole Feminism is also on my list of things to read.

Bad Movies: On the One Hand, On the Other

Martial arts expert doing backflip kicks off an elephant versus marital arts expert serving God and raising a family like a badass.  Hmmm.

Quotes

I often want to keep track of little "stuff" I find in books or on the web--quotes I find interesting or writing samples I want to plagiarize. For example, a while ago I was reading a blog about a guy who works for a major oil company building oil and gas infrastructure on Sakhalin Island on the Pacific coast of Siberia. You don't expect to find jokes in such a place. But I found this when he described working with Russians: "In English, I was supervising a group of Russians whose enthusiasm often took the form of suicide." Lol. Copy that sucker down.  Anyway, I thought I would put it online, in part because I just want access to it when I need it.  My collection here.

If you are curious, I use this self-contained html file as a wiki. Adding on TiddlySnip in a Firefox browser let's you right-click any selection of text and adds it to that html file. Then I just wrote a small automator script on my mac to take that local file and ftp it to my hosted space. Voila!

Ahhh

Only a few things left to do on the blog--the side bar won't align without that period as a title, the new footer alignment is screwed up, and I can't figure out how to have both red and black links (way too much red right now).  This is what I do when I am sick on a weekend.  Doing something creative-esque more often feels good.

In other exciting news, I am going to grow a mustache.  I know it looks gross, but girls never like mustaches and guys pretty much always do.  My plan is to grow out the 'stache and my hair long enough to do my own remake of the Sabatoge video.  I have been having my eye on this leather shoulder holster for a while--a keep prop.  Maybe afterwards I will shave a Chaplin mustache and walk around campus for a while.  No one has ever grown facial hair ironically before, so I think this will sort of be a big deal.

I Hate My Blog

It's boring. It looks like crap. I am going to steal ideas from this dog blog.  Also I am back to never sleeping.  I have been listening to this all evening, which probably doesn't help.

Swat At Airplanes

Over the past year I have been getting into "getting things done." Sounds buzzword-y. It is. I never really re-invented the way I do stuff, but after slowly reading www.43folders.com and Getting Things Done and adopting one change at a time, I think I have a light-weight, low-stress system for keeping track of all the "stuff" you have to do.

Capture everything in an inbox. All email dumps into one inbox. Voicemail I hate because you can't really track it so I usually ignore it. Everything I download from the internet goes into a folder on my desktop called "inbox" which I review and file away periodically. For physical mail if I need to keep it, I scan and shred it, otherwise I trash everything--with most banks and credit cards they have online statements if you want to look at them. For to do lists I have a list called "inbox" where I brain dump regularly.

Organize everything. All the reference "stuff" is filed away on my hard drive or with labels in email. All true actions are filed in the task list. No broad goals are allowed in the list--i.e., eat better, exercise more, be more charitable never make the list because I could
never really check them off. Delete everything else.

Labels in gmail. Everything gets a general label following the a.xyz format where a is the general category and xyz is the specific thing.
a = administrative
c = career
n = notes
p = projects
r = reference
s = school
w = workflow

Labels are only useful if you don't have to apply them. I set up filters so that, for example, all amazon.com receipts go directly to "r.shopping"--shopping receipts for reference--and bypass my inbox. All list-serves get filtered with an "a.del" label--stuff I can delete
later, which is an administrative thing. The first time I got an email from my Chinese professor, I make a filter for "s.chin211." "n.goals" is for eat better, exercise more, be more charitable. Anyway, a lot of the email gets sorted automatically, I have them for
later when I want to check them, rather than seeing tons of crap emails every day.

The only label that needs explanation is the workflow category. "w.someday" is for projects I want to get to, eventually, but realistically can't touch right now, like dressing in pink and taking over my local airport. "w.review" is for email I want to read again but I can't just have them hanging around my inbox--like maybe the email I wrote to myself to eat better, exercise more, be more charitable. "w.waiting" is a tag for important followups where I am waiting for a response. You get the idea.

If there is actually an action to do, it goes into the task list which is subdivided into lists like: inbox (for brain-dump), school, career, projects, social, prayer (things to pray about), people (people to think about), misc, and someday (which is really a kill bin in disguise). Stuff moves from inbox, to an appropriate list, and if it stays for a while, it goes into the someday list, and eventually gets deleted.

Then you just do it. I usually block out time to work on task groups--it tends to be easier to do 10 financial things at once, for example. If it is a repetitive thing, I will set up a recurring appointment on my calendar, with an email notification before I am supposed to do it. For example, I get an email from myself every morning to read the book of mormon. I don't necessarily do it in the morning (or ever), but I can't delete that email until I do it.

Anyway, with an iPhone I am always poking around my email inbox and task list whenever I have a free moment. Google stuff is pretty well integrated, simple, and free. I stay pretty much on top of things. The real innovation, however, was using a task list only for actions rather than goals, freeing myself from the dread of looking at my to do list. Now I get things done like nobody's business. Well, this post wasn't on my radar today, but whatever, I'm a work in
progress.