Showing posts with label mcsweenys. Show all posts
Showing posts with label mcsweenys. Show all posts

Swine, Swedes, and Socrates

Karmic balance must be the reason I like both tortured dead authors* and pictures of rice balls and spam that look like little piggies.

McSweeny's Lists are probably neutral in this Karmic balance--clever enough to be cute but sometimes quite acerbic and mean-spirited. Double win. Some recent ones I like:

Tips for Avoiding Swine Flu: "Don't share drinks with livestock"

Norse Spirituals: "Sven, Olaf, Sigurd, Snorri, Harald, Ivar, Hagbard, Starkad, Haki, Bovar, Hrolf, Magnus, Haamund, Bersi, Bragi, Heimdall, Hakon, Cnut, Erik, Ingjald, Skjalf, and Mikkel, Row The Boat Ashore"

Items Available at the Socratic Grocery Store: The Communist Antipasto


* DFW of course. The New Yorker describing his novel he was working on before he hung himself with an electrical cord: "Broom is a covert autobiography, 'the sensitive tale of a sensitive young WASP who’s just had this midlife crisis that’s moved him from coldly cerebral analytic math to a coldly cerebral take on fiction . . . which also shifted his existential dread from a fear that he was just a 98.6°F calculating machine to a fear that he was nothing but a linguistic construct.'"

Probable Future Names of Hershey's Candies Following the Progression from Kisses to Hugs

Hershey's Kisses

Hershey's Hugs

Hershey's Handshakes

Hershey's Eye Contacts

Hershey's Awkward Silences

Hershey's Restraining Orders


From McSweenies

Simplified List of Options for Iraq

Cut and run.

Run, without cutting first.

Cut. Just cut. No running.

Stand very still, then run suddenly—without cutting.

Stay the course.

Alter the course—but only slightly. Without cutting and running.

Stay the course—for a while. Then cut and run.

From McSweenies