This Is How They Make Their Money

J. Hugh Jackson Library
Checkout Desk

Student:

This is to let you know about outstanding fines at Jackson Library that resulted recently when you returned an overdue item or, in some cases, if you have long overdue material that has not been returned to the library. Please note: If the description is “Overdue,” the item may have recently been renewed or returned to the library. If the description is “Lost Item Replacement” the item has not been returned and has been declared lost.

More detailed information is available at the library or you can access your record online at http://jbldb.stanford.edu and click on "View My Account".

You may pay this bill in person at the Jackson Library, or send us a check made payable to Stanford University.

....

Total of all Fines and Fees: $1821.00

If you have questions or need assistance contact us at:
Location: Checkout Desk
Phone: 650.723.2162

Alert System

Attention, this is the Stanford "please freak out" system. I mean I am all for being on top of things--granted, sketchy men watching you shower is not ideal--but I am pretty sure they sent this email to at least everyone who lives on campus, guessing like 5,000 people.

Subject: Campus Timely Warning - Prowler in Branner Hall Shower Room

On Monday night, November 16, 2009 at approximately 8:30PM, a female student was the lone person showering in the second floor shower room of Branner Hall. She heard someone enter the shower room. About one minute later, she looked down and saw someone looking up at her from the adjacent shower stall. Because the person was looking at her from under the adjacent shower stall divider, the student could only see part of the suspect's face. The victim called out and the person quickly left the shower room.

The suspect was described as having medium colored skin with black hair to the collar and no facial hair. It is unknown for certain if the person was male or female.

The Stanford Department of Public Safety reminds you to secure all perimeter doors to your living areas and to report suspicious behavior to the police immediately.

Stanford Department of Public safety

Amir, My Iranian Friend

I made a new Iranian friend, Amir, an electrical engineering student up here. He has come to a few BBQs at my apartment. He also voted in the Iranian presidential election yesterday at a polling place in Redwood City, for Musavi, not Ahmadinejad, of course.

During dinner I overheard his awkward conversation with another friend who had asked whether or not Ahmadinejad would relinquish power if defeated. His response: "In my country, government has three parts--the lawyers [legislative], the judges [judiciary], and the operations [executive]. If Ahmadinejad loses, then he no longer operates." Funny, but also shows the big, dumb American stereotype holds true--we somehow believe only the worst parts of the stories we hear about Iran. My question was no better. I asked if he had seen this SNL skit. He had.

All of that is to say, I like these photos of the election. US voters should learn that the key to any successful protest is matching your eye shadow and scarf with the color of the revolution.

Roommie

This is my roommate Bob at a Berkeley vs Stanford trivia bowl, which after two rounds of incredibly obscure questions was tied at 1-1. We decided to settle the match by a feat of strength. As I remember it, I challenged their team to a competition of the most pushups in 30 seconds. Being weak and generally lazy, I volunteered my OCD, "I must work out every day" roommate to perform said feat.



Pushups must hit the fist of each counter. Opponents are set to begin.



This is the look of your weak opponent when he realizes he is losing at the rate of 3-1.



This is the weak Berkeley guy giving up.



Pumping out 66 pushups in 30 seconds, Roommie seizes the gag trophy for Stanford. He credits his short arms.



More pics here.

Stanford

The tone of this article has been consistent with my experience, so far. I haven't exactly been blown away by anything here. Quote:

Traditional colleges and universities aren’t about to die, of course. But their attractions—and especially the enticements of the Ivy League schools, Stanford, Berkeley, and such private four-year colleges as Amherst and Oberlin—will largely derive from the status that they convey, the career advantages that accrue from their brand-name diplomas, and the unspoken allure of networking and associating with others of a similarly affluent and privileged class. They are becoming social entities, private clubs for young people, certification and proof of career seriousness, but hardly centers for excellence in undergraduate education in the classical sense. For all the tens of thousands of dollars invested in yearly tuition, there will be no guarantee, or indeed, even a general expectation, that students will encounter singular faculty or receive a superior liberal arts education—let alone that they will know much more about their exceptional civilization than what they could find on the Internet, at religious schools, or on CDs and DVDs

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Rich White Suburbs Suit Me Well

That's my basic conclusion about life in Palo Alto. If I had to choose a single representative anecdote it's that Stanford has stables so students can bring their horses with them to school.

I like that.

I will probably take a riding course next quarter. I am looking forward to buying knee-high European riding boots and wearing them to class on days I have lessons. Maybe I can carry a riding crop with me all the time, especially on dates. Yes, that way. In the words of Kent: "nodding my head and hi-fiving my bros" right now.

One disturbing development: some squirrels here are nearly black. Satan squirrels. Running outside is dicey.

IDK Memes

I am definitely going to respond to almost all questions with: "idk my bff jill" from now on.